hmm realise my past few post about random emo stuff.. so i shall kinda change e mood hehe:D
but well im suppose to do my homework now but.. HECK! :D
lols really dunno how am i going to stay in 3a sia.. ima too slack already!
lols but nvm shall see how it goes hehe:D
hmm okay so today kinda went from maths class in e morning 8 till 10.
then i went for heartbeat practice.
hahas totally sucked at guitar.
im a failure.. yet again.
lols anyway went home at around 1..
slept and finished my zuowen at least.
hahas alright short post for today.
shall go find out how to do english essay! RARH
ohh and check out SNSD new song "run devil run" :D
last but not least i love you :D
Hmm.. I find myself to be quite "fake"..
i wanted this but yet i pretended i dont wanna it
i wish for this but yet i said i dont wanna this to happen.
what is wrong with me seh..
twisting everything around just to please everyone around me?
why cant i have the confidence and choose my own path?
damn it now im leading a life that is .. no.
right now.. my life is being led by others.
it is totally wrong man. like seriously OFF.
im supposed to be the ruler of my world.
yet im being thrown off my throne and have no power to veto to anything.
hais really find myself to be such a failure man.
Fail in choosing my paths,
Fail in choosing my life,
Fail in being myself.
I practically have no confidence to do a lot things.
and i hate that loser.
i believe im dragging alot of people down.
especially those that are very close to me.
Sorry if i did anything stupid or wrong.
I cant express myself well in real life.
so please understand my pain too alright.
i love you guys a lot but i am just unable to show it.
I know im quite a spastic person.
well im born with a spastic smile and facial expressions.
hmph this is all the doing of gods eh?
well Damn The Gods then.
i Really love you alot and i dont wish to part with you.
but i know it will happen sooner or later.
Reality hurts like hell.
we are like N and S poles..
you at 1 end and me at the other end.
Sigh.. heh i think that you dont even care right.
my feelings for you..
You have all e criteria of a perfect girl,
so good that i dont even think i deserve it.
its like me being with you is a big flaw to you.
you have many guys to choose from, dont even know why is it me.
But being with you is hardwork.
facing with all e guys that tries to hook up with you..
pretending i dont give a damn when my heart is bleeding..
real badly..
Jealously seriously kills.
i admit i am jealous most of the times but i merely concealed it.
just forcing a smile and diverge from the topic.
maybe i just have to get used to it..
im bleeding real badly..inside me..
well as long im able to see your smile
able to see that radiant you..
im already contented.. to the max :'D
Lets just see how long this will go..
i love you.